Why Talking is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage

Why Talking is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage
By Susan Page – Jossey-Bass (April 21, 2006), 304 Pages.
Reviewed by Jane Ives, Portland, Maine

I first discovered the work of Susan Page some years ago through an article in Redbook magazine which included  excerpts from her book If We’re So In Love, Why Aren’t We Happy:Using Spiritual Principles to Solve Real Problems and Restore Your Passion. Intrigued by the title, I sought out that book and then another of hers: How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together, finding the content of both very sound and exceptionally well-presented.

Her latest work, Why Talking is Not Enough, continues in the same vein, encouraging individuals and couples to treat their relationships as spiritual disciplines, practicing acceptance, compassion, restraint, and kindness. She shows how to focus first on creating an “harmonious atmosphere and spirit of good will” instead of dwelling on whatever you perceive to be problems in your relationship. By acting the way you want to feel, you can break free of moods and feelings and thus transform your relationship. By finding ways to meet your own needs as well as developing empathy for and taking care of your partner’s needs, you can reduce both resentment and conflict.

Through clear exposition, vivid examples, and relevant “experiment” assignments for readers, Susan Page shows how intentional loving actions can communicate even more clearly and effectively than verbal messages. This fifteen-chapter book would serve as an excellent group study resource for couples and/or individuals who want to increase the happiness and satisfaction
of their relationships.