Marriage Moments
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Please enjoy this sample compilation.
“All those ‘and they lived happily ever after’ fairy tale endings need to be changed to ‘and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy.’”
Share with your partner: Are there any fairy tale dreams I’m still holding on to that block my ability to love my partner for better or for worse?
by Linda Miles, PhD., The New Marriage
In a growing marriage the little things are the big things. It’s not only marrying the right person, it’s BEING the right partner. How are you doing in the little things of your marriage?
by Susan Vogt, Certified Better Marriages Leader
“The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present.” (M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled). Today, choose love.
by Susan Vogt, Certified Better Marriages Leader
Set ground rules for fighting fair before a conflict arises, not in the heat of the moment. Make the ground rules specific to your relationship – to your specific areas of vulnerability. Agree together to follow these ground rules. Hold each other accountable – when you see your partner not following the rules, call his or her hand at it. . . and agree to let them do the same when they see you’re not following the rules.
www.bettermarriages.org
Take turns sharing a verbal love message. Look into your spouse’s eyes and say, “What I love about you is: …” Focus on making your words meaningful.
Sometime in the coming week, create a written love note for one another. Consider such possibilities as a greeting card, a sticky note on a mirror, a slip of paper tucked into a frequently opened drawer, or some- thing else. Use your creativity, and keep it simple and real. For instance, there is no need to rent a billboard!
by David Banks, PhD, 2 Become 1
Are you a Debbie Downer or Negative Ned? Listen to your own conversation for one day and decide whether or not you’re a pleasure to be around . . . no one deserves the joy of your positive attitude more than your partner.
by Greg and Priscilla Hunt, Certified Specialists in Marriage Enrichment
When you’re tired, hungry, or sick, you are more likely to have a short fuse, get upset and focus on some small thing. You lose your sense of humor and take things too seriously. Minor disagreements that arise during times of being tired, hungry or sick often escalate into major conflict because we don’t feel able to put things in perspective. We all get stressed and push ourselves too hard at times. If this happens we owe it to each other to check out what is really behind the issue.
Ask yourself…..When I am tired, sick or hungry, am I less tolerant of things in regards to my partner? What can I do to identify those times? What can I say or do to make my partner aware that this is not the time for a “major discussion?”
by Bea Strickland, Certified Better Marriages Leader
Setting goals for the new year (or “just because”? It’s a great time to consider your relationship.
- How do you want it to look in the new year/this month/this week?
- What areas do you want to focus on to ensure growth in your relationship?
- What are 3 things you’ll do to make that growth happen?
Growth doesn’t happen by accident. We must be pro-active. It’s a new year – and a good time to assess where you are and where you’re going as a couple.
by Greg and Priscilla Hunt, Certified Specialists in Marriage Enrichment
“Sex begins in the kitchen, because love is an all-day affair.”
Dr. Kevin Leman, Sex Begins in the Kitchen
Answer individually and then share with your partner:
- What would I like our sexual relationship to look like?
- What can my partner and I do to make it happen?
by Eddie and Sylvia Robertson, Certified Better Marriages Trainer Couple
This week discuss a significant value or belief that holds you and your spouse together.
by Susan Vogt, Certified Better Marriages Leader
We can use our early experiences together to re-experience the positive times (share a memory) and bring those feelings into our lives together today.
Set aside some quality one-on-one time this week and share with each other:
- One of the things that attracted me to you when we first met was…
- I remember that you said…
Share some of your memories of your 1st days together
by Michael and Suanne Yarbrough, Certified Better Marriages Trainer Couple
Memories are powerful. “Walking down memory lane” together can bring us closer together.
Set aside some quality one-on-one time this week and reflect on your early relationship. Share with each other:
- How did you feel during this time?
- What activities and ideas did you share with each other?
- What about that experience led you to take the next step toward commitment?
by Michael and Suanne Yarbrough, Certified Better Marriages Trainer Couple
“Sex is about the quality of your entire love life, not just the alignment of your bodies.”
Dr. Kevin Leman, Sheet Music
Set aside some time this week to talk about your sexual relationship.
- Talk about when (how do I ask?)
- Talk about where (set the atmosphere)
- Talk about how? (what do you like/don’t like?)
- Remember sex is an all day event
- Remember to flirt. Cuddling is sex, too
by Eddie and Sylvia Robertson, Certified Better Marriages Trainer Couple
Go to a park and stroll the nature trail. Take in the sounds and sights around you. See what you can find in the natural surroundings to symbolize aspects of your marriage. For example: A bridge over a stream could represent the connection between you.
by David Banks, PhD, 2 Become 1
Discuss together some different types of service you could participate in. Share your thoughts and feelings about each choice. What are your motives? What might be the benefits from your choices?
Choose at least one service project and carry it out as a couple. Examples: pay for someone’s coffee or meal, babysit for a single mother, fill someone’s gas tank, buy groceries for a family in need, serve on a community committee, plan a neighborhood clean-up day….
by David Banks, PhD, 2 Become 1
When you and your partner re-unite after a day apart, greet each other with a lingering kiss (count to 10 slowly). This not-necessarily-sexual touch will get you on the same page more quickly than a one-second peck.
by Greg and Priscilla Hunt, Certified Specialists in Marriage Enrichment
If it’s worth talking about, it’s worth using good communication skills. We’re not victims to bad habits of communication – new skills, habits and patterns of communication can be learned.
www.bettermarriages.org
Make your spouse know that they are the most important person in your life. Actions speak louder than words!
www.CoupleTalk.com
Pay attention to those times when you become angry with each other and look behind the anger for the underlying cause. Share your insights with your partner in the form of an “I” message.
Formula for “I Messages”:
I feel _________________ (express your feeling) when you _____________ (describe the action that affects you or relates to the feeling).
by Bill and Linda McConahey, Certified Better Marriages Trainer Couple
“In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find grounds for marriage.”
by Robert Anderson, Solitaire/Double Solitaire
This week discuss a significant value or belief that holds you and your spouse together.
by Susan Vogt, Certified Better Marriages Leader
