Guest Post
As time goes on and you and your partner have been together for what feels like an eternity, you may begin to find that you start to feel a bit distant. This is completely normal and could happen for a variety of reasons like your kids going off to college, reaching retirement, or even just spending too much time together. If you’ve started to notice a recent gap between you and your partner and want to bring back the closeness you felt at the beginning of your relationship, then keep reading for ways to grow close again.
1. Communicate and Listen to Them
While communication is one of the most well-known tactics to use when building and maintaining any successful relationship, it’s also one of the most underutilized tools. As humans, we naturally feel hesitant to discuss our emotions and feelings since it’s commonly seen as weak to do so. However, not discussing how we feel or failing to bring light to something that may be bothering us will only lead to more problems down the line. This is why it is crucial to keep open and honest communication in any marriage or relationship.
If you feel uncomfortable mentioning something to your partner, start off slow. Plan times where the two of you can engage in meaningful conversations, like over coffee in the morning or during an evening stroll around your neighborhood. Make it a point to ask about more than just how their day was. Ask your partner if you can do anything for them to make their day better or if they have a fun story to share. On the other hand, make sure you’re listening deeply to what they have to say to better understand where they are coming from. It can be tricky to know what to say sometimes, so don’t be afraid to use a reconnection journal to spark up a conversation. With a little work, you’ll be back to comfortably talking with your partner about anything and everything.
2. Show Interest in Their Hobbies and Passions
It’s possible that while you and your partner were growing distant from each other that you found hobbies that the other doesn’t know much about. Share your passions with one another by extending an invitation to join and learn about the activities you both enjoy. Maybe it’s going to a sporting event or crafting with a scrapbooking machine. Whatever your hobbies and passions may be, take the time to learn about how your partner spends their time. This is also a great way to treat them to a meaningful and personalized gift. Show them a little extra love and give them something you know that they will enjoy.
3. Plan Things to Look Forward To
Sometimes a change of scenery and a new environment can work wonders for bringing people closer together. Sit down with your significant other and make a list of places you want to visit or things you want to experience together. Then make plans to cross off as many of those things that you can. Start small and work your way down the list. If you need to save money for any of the items on the list, then strategize how you will get there together. Making plans and events to look forward to will not only require you to spend time together while planning but will also allow you to make new memories that will last a lifetime.
4. Start Dating Again
When was the last time you got all dressed up to go out on a date with your partner? For most couples, they stop doing all of the little things that they once did at the beginning of their relationship. Bring back the nostalgia and relive your early years by going to some of the places you went to on your first few dates. You could also recreate these memories at home by turning your living room into a date night theme. It’s fun to look back on all of the fun you had in the early years and to reminisce. However, there’s no reason why you can’t start dating again to revive the excitement in your relationship!
5. Bring Back the Romance
If you decide to start dating again, be sure to bring back all of the romance. Physical affection can be one of the best ways to bring couples closer together. Intimacy has proven to increase happiness, so take advantage of getting intimate again. Treat yourself to some new bed sheets or lingerie. Sometimes sexual difficulties can occur as we age though, so be sure you’re prepared in advance. If you’re experiencing a low libido, make sure that you’re getting enough rest and try meditating to relieve any stress you may be experiencing.
For other sexual difficulties, like erectile dysfunction, speak with a sex therapist or primary care doctor for any specific concerns you may have. Sometimes all couples need is the encouragement and confidence to get back in the bedroom to remind them of how much they love each other.
6. Get Outside Support
If you’ve already tried all of these things on the list and you still feel a loss of a connection with your partner, then try relationship counseling or coaching. Having a professional in the equation to help uncover any underlying problems can oftentimes do the trick. There’s nothing wrong with counseling, and in fact, more couples should utilize this service. Having the perspective of an unbiased third party can work wonders and help bring you and your partner closer.
Although there could be many reasons why you and your significant other have grown apart, working together and putting in the effort to fix the distance will bring you closer together. It’s important that both people are committed to strengthening the relationship and partnering to be more connected. Follow these tips to have a stronger and lasting relationship!
