By Sherri Goodman
Whether you’ve been together for 4 years or 4 decades, every relationship can use a tune up. Bettering your relationship doesn’t require taking a second honeymoon, going cliff diving together, or any other crazy stunts. You and your partner can strengthen your bond simply by putting a little more effort into areas you may have started to overlook.
Show Your Appreciation
It’s all too easy to take for granted the daily grunt work your partner does in order to ensure that you’re both happy. Paying bills, household chores, and cooking meals—these things are all necessary to make life go smoothly. However, they are seemingly mundane enough that the work that goes into making them happen can be overlooked.
In a recent blog post, Adam & Eve stated, “men who assist their partners with the housework have 50% more sex than the men who don’t.” The statistic wasn’t from a random survey or anything like that, either. The University of California concluded it from a study.
It’s not just about housework, though; it’s more about being helpful. Taking tasks off your partner’s to-do list shows that you understand that their time is valuable. Not only that, but completing chores that benefit you both (doing the laundry, mowing the yard, cooking dinner) show how much you care. By helping, you are acknowledging this and making your appreciation known. Better still, you can complete tasks quicker by working together or dividing them equally.
Try Something New
Over the years you’ve probably come up with a sexual routine, sometimes without even meaning to. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?
Well, while the saying may be true for cars or appliances, it’s not exactly true when it comes to your sex life. Mixing things up can introduce you to something new that you may enjoy even more than your standard go-tos. Psychology Today writes in this article that trying new things in your relationship can help prevent and alleviate boredom. This will make you feel closer to your partner, happier in your relationship, and more satisfied with life in general.
If you’re hesitant, know that trying something new doesn’t mean you’re doing anything permanent. If you find that even just trying out a new position in the bedroom isn’t for you, there’s nothing wrong with sticking to the classics. What matters is that you give it a shot.
Spend Some Time Apart
This doesn’t mean you should take a break in the relationship, just that you should remember the importance of being your own person.
An article from Success said that too often people would give up the time they used to devote to hobbies or personal pastimes in order to devote more time and energy into a relationship. While a portion of your time is understandable, if not necessary, the problem comes when one partner gives up all of their personal time. Eventually, this can cause them to be emotionally out of balance, leading to “Relationship stress, miscommunication or worse: resentment and emotional pain.”
It’s possible you could benefit from taking some time to yourself without even realizing that you’ve needed it. Try doing something that’s just for you. Take a class, keep a weekly tentative date to spend time with your friends, or just set aside some time to work on a hobby. Engaging in activities can give you confidence, boost your self-worth, and help you reestablish your identity. The side effects can then spill over into your relationship, helping to make it stronger as well. And remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Even people in the most stable relationships have to put the effort into maintaining their bond with their partner. And as much as you may have heard otherwise, it doesn’t take a lot of work. In fact, if it’s something you really care about making happen, it won’t seem like work at all.
Sherri Goodman is a freelance relationship writer and photographer from Richmond, Virginia. When she’s not working you can find her scrounging through sales at outlet malls or cheering on the Virginia Tech Hokies.
twitter.com/SherriGoodLove
